The Day we Found Out

How did you find out that you could be pregnant? What was the first emotion you felt?

What a thrill. To tell the person you wanted to have a child with that you are pregnant with their child. He was waiting so it was not a surprise that I was going to take the test. I was late and acting totally loopy with my emotions that even I couldn’t explain why. M husband said, “I think you’re pregnant” to which I laughed. I had a feeling that he could be right but anyone in my position could assume so as well. It was a yes or a no anyway so why not entertain the possibility.

We got excited but also I was worried about a few things:

• If I was pregnant, that will take a huge toll on us so early on in our marriage and relocation. Lots of new challenges all at the same time. Can we be the best we could be? Will I be enough for my child? Am I ready?
• If I was not pregnant, I wonder why it is taking me so long to get there. Am I not fertile enough? Is my body failing me?

My period was late for a week but also, I was highly stressed so I thought that was normal and to be expected. I did not want to get my hopes up but was wanting to wait it out. After 2 days, still nothing. I knew it was time to confirm what is going on. I was scared and excited and nervous and totally ecstatic.

It took us 3 months to get pregnant. We were expecting to wait for at least a year. However, life has blessed us with a baby sooner. Maybe there was a reason. Maybe we were ready after all. The idea of potentially introducing another member to our new family sounds so magical, surreal and almost impossible to imagine.

It almost felt like life just flew by in front of me. I suddenly missed my mom and wanted to have her by my side and hear all about her experience. I thought about my childhood, my adolescence and single days – I am still and will always be at awe looking back on how fast everything happened. I remember my dad mentioned this one time after my frustration of failed relationships, “don’t worry, when the right person comes, everything will just happen and time will just fly because it feels so easy to be with someone on the same team as you.” (something along those lines, in tagalog)

Knowing that this is finally coming to reality, I am scared that something wrong could happen but more excited with all the possibilities of raising a little one and seeing where life will take us. I took the test another time to make sure and we got the full confirmation.

How is this real?

My husband’s reaction was the prize. He was genuinely happy and truly ecstatic to be a dad. I can see it in his eyes – how gentle and soft. This is when you know someone is truly filled with joy. I cannot trade this with anything else. This is a manifestation of our love. This will be tough but it felt like we could take the world – him and I. We will just have to hope and do our best.